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farewell to the days of having it both ways
14 December 2011 @ 09:08 am
merry christmas mom and dad
farewell to the days of having it both ways
[02:42] <Toast> hi
[02:42] <Toast> hilly iren';ml; my hea you have
[02:42] <Toast> no face
[02:42] <Toast> for th record
[02:42] <Toast> you are just
[02:42] <Toast> a jason
[02:42] <Toast> a json
[02:42] <Toast> with
[02:42] <Toast> boobs
[02:42] <Toast> it is strange
[02:42] <Toast> 'but not bad

I asked for clarification:

[02:55] <jillyam> wait
[02:55] <jillyam> I have no face and I'm a Jason with boobs?
[02:55] <Toast> oh
[02:55] <Toast> ................. y
[02:55] <Toast> have mask
[02:55] <Toast> face
[02:55] <Toast> not
[02:55] <Toast> no
[02:55] <Toast> face
[02:55] <Toast> but uhmmmmmmm
[02:55] <Toast> the mastk enever
[02:55] <Toast> comes off?
[02:55] <Toast> yup
[02:55] <Toast> ssoooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[02:55] <Toast> boob ajson
farewell to the days of having it both ways
05 December 2011 @ 12:33 pm
Last night, or okay, this morning, I finished reading a small collection of short stories, Ghost Stories of Antiquity, by M.R. James. These were stories written in 1904, and are therefore fairly old-fashioned, generally concerning scholars traveling to ominous places with ominous people and undergoing ominous events. Nearly all of the stories also have to do with old papers or records, which the protagonists discover and read.

When I was finished, I discovered, tucked in the back of the book, an index card with stuff written on it in my handwriting. I don't remember writing it but I'm pretty sure it has to do with the Fantasy Story I've Planned For A Billion Years And Will Never Write, namely, the dead dude. This has to be somewhere upward of three years old, but my memory is shit anyway. What I wrote:
they are close to him as children
they are intimate as lovers
all bonds are broken as you pass beneath the gateway of ash
all [something scribbled out] are lain bare on the cold stone of his hall
He fears no geas. Death is beyond and below
Death is the edge upon which he plays
all is ash. all is cinders upon the sea.

all this, the living can only dream briefly of, before
Oh okay that's cool, younger me. You're right, finishing things is for losers. Also the first two lines are terrible. Let's not do that. Nice planning, though. The "hiding that shit in a book I wouldn't read again for years" thing I mean.

Anyway I'm tired but I need to shop so w/e I'm leaving, fools.
farewell to the days of having it both ways
03 December 2011 @ 08:20 am
Finally got around to reading From Hell, and even more interesting to me than the story were Alan Moore's chapter annotations -- full of citations, justifications, interesting references, and the occasional deadpan remark (he said, in reference to the fact that Neil Gaiman had passed on some old-timey dirty slang, that Gaiman had a filthy mouth in at least seven centuries). He really did a fuckload of research for it, or maybe just knew it all already and bothered to write it down for the rest of us plebes. As I am currently "researching" the Polish resistance movement of WWII for a character history, by which I mean "googling" and "reading wikipedia," I feel like exactly what I am: a complete dilettante. FINE. I SUCK. GO AWAY, ALAN MOORE. STOP JUDGING ME WITH YOUR BEARD.
farewell to the days of having it both ways
... as if you wouldn't be able to tell about five words in.
The thing I hate most about Joe Hill is that he's cleverer than I am, and therefore has things in his head that are better than the things in my head, so what I need to do is fashion a key of some kind, very sharp, and jam it into his neck, just below the base of his skull, and twist it hard until the top of his head opens, and then rummage around in there for the clever bits, pick them out, and stuff them into a bottle, which I will fill with wine, allowing his clever bits to suffuse into the liquid, and so I will drink the then-fortified wine filled with nutritious Joe Hill headbits, and therefore be clever enough to one day come up with the wonderful metaphorical conceit of keys to open our heads and reveal all we hide away in that dark little space, except that's an idea Joe Hill's had already and I crudely ripped it off when I tooled my own key that I shoved into the back of Joe Hill's head, and it's not a special metaphorical magic key, it's just an old doorkey, so now there's Joe Hill's head with this manky old key that I filed a point on sticking out the back of his neck, and he's actually made kind of a mess, and the worst thing I suppose is that he fairly obviously won't be writing any more Locke & Key comics, which is a bloody (hah) shame because these comics are really remarkably good, among the best-written comics I've seen in the last two years, which I guess is because Joe Hill's cleverer than I am and that's why he had to die.


- Warren Ellis
Not Telling You My Location Oh No
July 2009
farewell to the days of having it both ways
27 November 2011 @ 01:38 pm
Mom, I promise if you don't hover behind me in the kitchen watching me choose everything I eat with eagle eyes, I won't actually pick up a stick of butter, roll it in sugar and flour, and deep fry it. I'll probably just make a fucking ham and cheese sandwich like I just did. Calm the fuck down.
farewell to the days of having it both ways
25 November 2011 @ 10:56 am
The books were from my brother, who called last night like >_> and then asked me what Gunnerkrigg Court was. He also told me he's seen job postings in Dallas for librarian managers starting at like 40,000+ whaaaaat brb reconsidering journalism. No just kidding I'm never moving to fucking Texas.

I gave Queerly a bit of my sister's homemade apple pie and she scarfed it up.

Also, am rereading this Birthday Book of Saints book, which is sometimes subtly and sometimes outright irreverent. For one saint, they said she was blind and that she was determined to join an order because she knew St. Jerome would cure her blindness! And on the day she joined, St. Jerome answered her prayers! The answer was no.

For March 25: "The Feast of the Annunciation: the Virgin Mary as Patron of news dealers, ribbon makers. Today is Lady Day, when Mary of Nazareth was visited by the Angel Gabriel and agreed to an offer she couldn't refuse from the Godfather of them all, God the Father. (It is exactly nine months until Christmas.)"

They also take care to mention in Brigid and Walpurga's entries (and probably others, I haven't reread it all) that there were totally coincidentally deities of that name already in that area. St. Patrick's entry was like "okay, he wasn't Irish. And his first name wasn't Patrick. And there were no snakes in Ireland anyway. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS TOTALLY TRUE!!!!"
farewell to the days of having it both ways
24 November 2011 @ 12:41 pm
Did one of you yahoos get my real name and find my Amazon wishlist and send me something /STARES

........ well thank you for the books if you did :3
farewell to the days of having it both ways
We have to write about the revisions we made and our writing process and shit like that. This is my last paragraph:
To say I'm interested in publishing is loosely true. Writing is the only thing I can do, so I better give it a shot. If I could do anything else — if I could give a shit about anything else — I would. But I don't give a shit about anything and I'm going to die alone on the street if I don't graduate from college already and actually I'll probably die alone on the street even if I do. I do not and have never anticipated making a living off of writing. I do not want to be famous. I don't think publishing has any prestige, not the way it was and not the way it's becoming. I'm going to write anyway, so I might as well try to get good at it and then, when some asshole asks me what I've done with my life, I can sneer in their face and say, “I'm a writer. I won such and such prize, I'm well known in certain circles, you can read my stories in this collection or this magazine... if you like reading, anyway.” Then I'll spill my martini on them (I don't drink) and walk away.
Oh shit I better send him that Jesus hook thing too.
farewell to the days of having it both ways
20 November 2011 @ 03:16 pm
My first lucid dream in a while. I'm not sure what tipped me off to it being a dream, the strange "joke" scenario that I can't explain or the fact I was there/not there in a scene where I didn't belong. But in any case, I opened a microwave and found some nachos and started eating them, and somewhere along the line I realized I was dreaming and these were dream nachos and... I was slightly sad, but they were pretty good so I kept eating them. Wouldn't you?

I also dreamt about TK. We discussed how Arthur likes to wear masks (not literally, just figuratively). Possibly some kind of subconscious mix-up with Jenni's Eames username.